GONE
by Akaichi801
Summary: You wouldn't know exactly what you had until it's gone. That's what Tsukishima felt when he lost Yamaguchi. And after the 8 long years he had been gone, Yamaguchi came back. And Tsukishima's so set on making everything right again.
1. Lost and Found

You wouldn't know exactly what you had until it's gone.

That's what Tsukishima felt when he lost Yamaguchi. His best friend. The guy who had been with him almost all the time. The shy freckled boy who admired Tsukishima so much.

If only he had been more, what, sensitive? Aware? Suspicious? - he doesn't even know - Maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't lost Yamaguchi.

Now that Tsukishima think about it, he realized it all started when he and Yamaguchi joined the Karasuno Volleyball Club. When the guy went to Shimada Makoto-san to teach him the jump float serve. When Yamaguchi started hanging out and talking to him lesser than usual. When the times that he comes over to Tsukishima's diminished.

He should have noticed.

He should have known by then that Yamaguchi was slowly drifting away from him.

But he had been so busy. What's with the school and club activities. Being in the college prep class is not a walk in the park - Yamaguchi should know this because he's in college prep class too - then there's the club practices that is more than enough to wore him out every single day. And honestly, the idea of losing Yamaguchi never crossed his mind. The guy is very much attached to him he was hardly seen without the other beside him. It seemed almost like impossible to separate them. But that was then.

And now, it's been eight years since Yamaguchi Tadashi left.

Eight miserable years without Yamaguchi. Without his weird but adorable freckles, his frequent "Tsukki's" (which Tsukishima missed the most to be honest), his quirks, his odd fascination to saggy french fries, his smile, his laugh, _his warmth._

He missed his friend so much. But he didn't cry (hell, no). However, he can't deny the sudden pain in his chest whenever he see Hinata and Kageyama happy together, being obliviously sweet and all. He can't help himself think about the "might have been's", the "what if's" and Yamaguchi.

If only Yamaguchi didn't leave, Tsukishima is sure as hell they'll be like Hinata and Kageyama too.

He sighed. His left elbow on the table, his chin resting on his knuckles. His strawberry shortcake left untouched. This is how he spends his usual night in the past eight years. Dull, boring, tedious.

And hours of thinking about Yamaguchi, obviously. Like just now.

He leaned back on his seat and stared at the ceiling of the coffee shop he is in right now. He just got off from his work and he doesn't feel like going home in his lonely house yet. Yes, house. He can't even call it his home. His _home _had been long gone.

_I wonder where Yamaguchi is now._

_Is he doing well?_

_Did he finish college?_

_Did he made friends? But knowing Yamaguchi's shy and awkward attitude, he maybe made only a few._

_Is he happy?_

_Is he... thinking about me too?_

He heard the ding of the coffee shop's bell signaling that a customer entered (or exited). But he isn't paying attention. He's busy thinking about Yamaguchi.

"One Vanilla Frappuccino and Caffe Americano, please. To go."

"Right away, sir."

"Thank you."

He was well known to be as the snarky bastard who love to piss people off. But when Yamaguchi left, people soon started to call him the cold-hearted giant. He shut people out and he became colder and more grumpy and sarcastic which made him all the more harder to approach. Less and less people tried to talk to him. Even the girls who had been swooning over him had been scared of him. Then people avoided him.

Except of course for his teammates - who perfectly knows about the sole reason of the sudden change of his attitude.

For the first time in his life, he appreciated his teammates' presence. Their bubbly and cheerful disposition somehow eased the loneliness he felt. But that was it. At the end of the day, when they go home after a tiring practice, he missed the single person he always with when he go home, calling him "Tsukki" with his adorable nervous voice mumbling a series of "sorry" even though he didn't do anything wrong.

Tsukishima felt a small smile tug on his lips. He remembered those quiet nights he had with Yamaguchi, both of them sharing a comfortable silence on their way home.

Those simple moments he never thought would someday be the most important to him.

"Oh, shoot! I just remembered I need to buy something at the convenience store."

"We can just buy that after this."

"No. Maybe I should go now so we can head home faster."

"But -"

"Tadashi."

Tsukishima froze as he was pulled back from his trip from the past. He can't recognize the voice of the man who said it but the name is so hauntingly familiar it almost made Tsukishima stopped breathing.

"Sorry, Taiyou."

Okay, now that one did it.

"Just wait for me at the car okay?" Then a cling of a door chime.

Tsukishima is seated in his usual seat near the counter (so he can easily call some crew for some refill) beside the glass wall where he kill his time staring at. His back is facing the door so he can't see who is talking.

But he didn't dare to move. If he look back, there's only two possibilities that awaits him: see the person he is expecting (more like, wanted) to see, or be disappointed when he see someone else.

To be honest? Tsukishima is _scared._

Scared that he might be wrong, that he just got his hopes up for nothing, and then he'll be back with his endless yearning for a certain freckled person.

_"Sorry, Taiyou…"_

_"Sorry, Tsukki…"_

He closed his eyes and felt his chest tightened. He can't bare it any longer.

"Here's your order, sir."

"Ah! Yes. T-thank you."

Tsukishima wanted to cry. That voice… is so achingly familiar.

"Please come again."

His heart is pounding so hard. He can't miss this chance. He looked away from the glass wall and into the counter. He saw the cashier smiled before she got back to her place next to the register. He then snapped his head into the door and see that same black greenish hair and the next thing he knew, he was out of the coffee shop, his one hand on the elbow of the other guy stopping them from walking away. _Again._

"What the -! Let me g-"

Surprised eyes stared back at him. His face looked a bit different from what Tsukishima remembered but hey, it's been eight years. Change is inevitable. But he cannot mistaken those adorable freckles for anyone else.

"…Tsukki?" he asked cautiously "I.. I mean, Tsukish-! Wait- What? W-w-w-why are you crying!?"

His panic mumbles turned into a sharp gasp when Tsukishima pulled him into a tight hug. Tsukishima closed his eyes and savored the warmth from the guy he longed to see for eight long years "Yamaguchi…" he whispered "God, I missed you. I missed you so much."

Yamaguchi melted in his arms and his hold on him tightened. Hands on Yamaguchi's waist and the other on the back of his head, Tsukishima inhaled Yamaguchi's scent. Nostalgia flooded his senses. Now he know why he's so adamant in seeing Yamaguchi; why in the eight long years they hadn't see each other, he never moved on; why he felt miserable when Yamaguchi left him; why he felt incomplete like a huge part of him was ripped from him.

It's because he love Yamaguchi.

He never realized it until now. He just concluded that it was because the guy is his best friend and they'd been together like forever that he's not used to being alone.

But now he knew.

He pulled away and cupped Yamaguchi's face. He didn't care if they're still outside the café and if someone or anyone is looking at them weird. They can fuck the hell up.

He longingly stare at Yamaguchi's face, saving the memory in his heart. Yamaguchi changed. He's more beautiful than the last time Tsukishima can remember seeing him. He cut his hair shorter accentuating his long lashes outlining pretty eyes, adorable dots from angel's kisses embellishing his beautiful face.

"T-tsukki… you're crying…"

Tsukishima smiled, didn't even bother wiping his tear-streaked face. "I don't know… I'm just happy."

Yamaguchi reached out, his free hand brushing Tsukishima's face wiping away those stubborn tears away himself. Tsukishima leaned closer to the touch, like a cat eager for more contact. He put his hand on top of Yamaguchi's and kissed his palm. "Please… Please tell me I'm not dreaming."

Yamaguchi smiled, "You're not dreaming Tsukki. What are you saying?"

"Oh god Yamaguchi, you don't know how I felt these past eight years. I missed you so much I thought I'm going insane."

Immediately, Yamaguchi's smile was gone and an unreadable expression took it's place.

"Why… why did you leave Yamaguchi? Why didn't you tell me?"

Yamaguchi now looked scared, he reflexively removed his hand on Tsukishima's grasp like he had been burned. He took a step back away from Tsukishima. "I'm sorry, Tsukki…"

"No! I mean, no, Yamaguchi. I'm not mad at you. But please, please tell me what was wrong. What happened? Why?"

Yamaguchi shook his head, "I'm happy to see you too, Tsukki. I'm glad to see you're fine. _Tsukishima._"

Yamaguchi turned his back at him, and started to walk away.

_No! I won't let you leave me again!_

"Yamaguchi! I love you-!"

"Tadashi!"

Yamaguchi and Tsukishima both froze on their tracks as another guy approached them. He's taller than Yamaguchi but still shorter compared to Tsukishima.

"What took you so long? I thought I told you to wait for me in the- oh, did I interrupt something? What's happening here? Who is he?"

"N-nothing! Um, Taiyou this is Tsukishima, a… friend. Tsukishima, this is Taiyou, um-"

"- His boyfriend."

"Taiyou!" Yamaguchi gasped in horror.

"What?" The raven-haired guy asked, innocently. "He's a friend right? So I don't think it'll be an issue, or is he homophobic or something?"

"No, no, it's okay. It's cool. I just… I'm just a bit surprised to know that Yamaguchi has a boyfriend now. We hadn't see each other for years after all." Tsukishima said, nonchalantly. But Yamaguchi knew better. Despite the long years they'd been away from each other, he still remember Tsukishima's attitude. He know Tsukishima like the back of his hand. And only he can do that.

A light of recognition flickered on this Taiyou guy's eyes, "Oh! I remember it now! I wondered why you look so familiar, you are _that _Tsukki! Oh, it's good to finally meet you! Little Tadashi here used to blabber things about you. He was so fascinated by you it almost made me jealous! Haha!"

Tsukishima looked at Yamaguchi who is _clinging_ at Taiyou, eyes everywhere but Tsukishima.

Tsukishima's heart felt like it's being ripped inside his chest. Eight years ago, he was the one Yamaguchi is clinging into. He should be the one wrapping his arms around Yamaguchi.

But things are different now. And it hurt.

"I see."

"Nice to meet you Tsukishima-san. But we really have to go now, it's getting late."

"Oh, it's okay. Sorry for interrupting your night. Yamaguchi," he whispered his name one last time, "I really did miss you, you know? I'm relieved to see you're fine." He looked at the other guy, "It's nice to meet you too, Taiyou-san. Please take care of Yamaguchi for me."

Yamaguchi looked at him, his pretty eyes shining with unshed tears.

"I will."

And Tsukishima watched them as they walked away. He watched as Yamaguchi leave him _again_, taking a big part of Tsukishima with him. But this time, other man is holding him, taking him away from Tsukishima.

He finally said his feelings to Yamaguchi.

But it's too late now.

He now has his _sun._

He wouldn't need the _moon _anymore.

***END**

* * *

><p>I don't know. I just wanted to <em>punish <em>Tsukki for hurting Yamaguchi (and I haha). He's letting Kuroo to flirt with him and I don't like it. So this happened. Sue me.


	2. When Two Souls Meet Again

**I'm surprised as well. This is for TheAwesomeCocoPuff. Hey girl :D/**

***.*.***

Yamaguchi Tadashi felt empty.

He never thought he would see Tsukishima again. And hell, did he missed him so much.

After so many years - 8 years to be exact, Tsukki was still the only person in the world that makes him feel this way.

And when Tsukishima hugged him earlier, he wanted to curl and cry and just melt right into his arms. He missed Tsukishima. His savior, his bestfriend, his everything.

_If only he could go back to his old life.._

"Tadashi?"

Taiyou's voice brought him back from his thoughts. He looked at him behind the steering wheel but didn't say anything.

"You okay?"

Tadashi didn't know how to respond to that so he just kept quiet. He tried to make a small smile though.

"Is it about _your Tsukki_? Did he say anything to you?"

Tadashi shook his head. This shouldn't be a big deal anymore. He already left everything behind him. It was all in the past.

"I'm sorry, Taiyou."

Taiyou reached out and held his left hand. "It's okay little Tadashi. I understand."

_No you don't,_ Tadashi wanted to tell him but thought better against it. So he just squeezed Taiyou's hand instead.

***.*.***

Tsukishima couldn't sleep.

Meeting Yamaguchi had been his wish for a very long time, after all.

Yamaguchi had been in his arms. He had been within his reach and yet he let him go. And now he couldn't make him his again because someone is already holding him.

Oh, how he regretted every single thing he had done and what he hadn't done that caused Yamaguchi to drift away from him.

If only he can go back and change everything just so he would not lost Yamaguchi..

He heaved a heavy breath and rolled onto his back. He put his arms over his eyes and tried to shut the world off.

Tsukishima Kei never cry. But that night, tears fell from his eyes as his heart ached with the loss of his only love.

***.*.***

For years, Karasuno volleyball club has always been in touch. They meet occasionally to have a drink and talk about the latest happenings to their life.

They'd been best of friends since the beginning. And time just made their bond even more stronger.

And tonight, they were celebrating Takeda-sensei's birthday.

His and coach Ukai's bar and restaurant was closed for tonight's celebration. But that did not make the place any quieter, what's with the whole club messing around like teenagers again.

The only thing that changed is that they're now grown ups with works and responsibilities.. and of course, each of them now has their own lovers.

"'Twas really confusing I was nervous! There are so many buttons and next thing I knew, papers are going gwaaash! And then baam! So I went GAAAAH I almost fainted right there at the spot."

Hinata was telling them the first time he used the xerox machine in their office. Everyone laughed with his misfortune and animated storytelling.

Kageyama beside him grumbled, "You were such a dumbass you should have been thankful I was there to save you from being killed by mass of papers."

"Oh yeah? Right, thank you _honey boo boo."_ Hinata teasingly said, playing Kageyama's chin with his fingertips.

Kageyama blushed, "I- I told you to stop calling me that!"

Tsukishima sipped his glass of wine while people around him cooed and laughed at the two lover's antics. Couples around him, he didn't feel like having fun right now or even make his usual snarky remarks.

An arm snaked around his shoulder and a familiar bald-headed face appeared on his right, "Hey Tsukishima! Why don't you smile? The night is still young to be so glum!"

"Right! What's the matter? Aren't ya happy to see us all?" Noya-san asked him on his left side, with his lover, Asahi-san beside him looming possessively as always.

"Nothing." He said while sighing even though he didn't want to talk. Even uttering a single word feels so hard to do with the lump in his throat and a heavy mass of despicable feelings in his heart.

He just wished his friends will leave him alone tonight. He only agreed on attending the celebration because as much as he hated to admit, these people had been an important part of his life and he already considers Takeda-sensei as his second parent.

Another reason is that he needed distraction. But Noya and Tanaka's questioning is doing the complete opposite.

Takeda-sensei and Coach Ukai came back from the Kitchen, another set of food and drinks in hand.

Daichi-san eyed him from the right end of the booth, his chin resting on Suga's right shoulder. "You know Tsukishima.. You seemed gloomier than usual."

Nishinoya and Tanaka nodded animatedly.

"Yeah. What's wrong Tsukishima? Confide to us, your senpais!"

"Is it work? Trouble in paradise?"

_I can't even have my own paradise.._ Tsukishima thought sadly, Yamaguchi's image with that Taiyou guy marring him.

He closed his eyes and sighed.

He didn't want this. He didn't want to look vulnerable to everyone. He didn't want to be the end receiver of their pity. He didn't want to be pathetic.

He was about to stand up and walk out when Yachi-san who was sitting across him beside her long time girlfriend, Shimizu, speak up which made him froze.

"Um.. I don't know if I should say this right now but.. I.. I think I saw.. Y-yamaguchi-kun the other night.."

The loud commotion was suddenly gone, just to be replaced by the erratic beating of his heart.

Tsukishima opened his golden eyes and saw his old teammates looking at him and Yachi-san with different expressions on their faces. Confusion, shock.. _understanding._

They know.

They connected the dots and finally know why Tsukishima was acting differently tonight.

This must be about Yamaguchi Tadashi's return, is what they all thought.

"What do you mean, Yachi?" Sugawara-san asked as calm as ever while the other crows still tries to consume Yachi's sudden declaration.

"Yeah! What do you mean?" Hinata leaned on the table to face Yachi-san. "I mean, when? Where? How? W-why? I mean.. I mean.. We haven't heard anything from him since the day he went away without telling us and mmmpph!"

"Shut up, Hinata." Kageyama scolded him, his large palm covering Hinata's loud mouth.

This was such a big news to the whole group. Eight years ago, Yamaguchi Tadashi just suddenly disappeared. One day, while on their usual practice session, Takeda-sensei told them that Yamaguchi will not be able to join them anymore.

He dropped all his subjects.

He even changed his address.

No one knew where he went. Even Tsukishima.

And then he was _gone_, just like that.

They never saw him ever again.

The whole Karasuno Volley ball team was worried about him. They even tried to search for him, but to no avail.

No clue. No news. No trace. No _anything_. Yamaguchi Tadashi was like a bubble that popped, gone in a blink of an eye from the face of the Earth. Just the memories of him left behind.

"Please explain what you said, Yachi." Daichi encouraged her. And then list of questions and comments were pointed at Yachi (mostly from Tanaka, Noya, and Hinata obviously) which made her fidget on her seat nervously.

"How was he? Isn't this good news?"

"What did he say? You should've invited him tonight!"

"Aww ~ I missed that freckled boy so much. He should've contacted us at least!"

"I'm gonna spike a ball at his face for making us worry for such a long time!"

"That's bad Hinata."

"So was leaving us without saying goodbye! That was mean!"

"He should've had a good, reasonable reason for leaving, right Yachi?"

"Please don't ask a lot of questions to her all at the same time. You're making her uncomfortable." Shimizu interjected, putting a protective arm around her girlfriend.

There was silence.

"Sorry." The over-energetic trio mumbled.

Ukai-san clapped his hands, drawing all attention to him. "Okay, one question at a time kids. I know this news is totally sudden, much less unexpected, that's why we are all over-excited but let's try to deal with this like adults, understand?"

A collection of mumbled okay and yes.

Ukai turned to Yachi, "Where did you see him?"

Everyone was quiet and all ears as Yachi recounted that fateful night he saw Yamaguchi.

She was fiddling with her fingers and appeared to be melting in Shimizu's arms, "I didn't actually got a chance to talk to him honestly. I just got out of a bookstore when I saw him. At first I thought I was just imagining things because - well, we didn't see him for such a long time and his physical features kinda changed just like everyone else did and he was with this guy and I was stunned for a moment and.. and next thing I knew they were out of sight."

There was a collective silence after that and Shimizu, being the dutiful girlfriend that she is, rubbed circles on Yachi's back effectively soothing the blonde lady.

"I'm sorry."

And that's it, everyone was out of their own bubble of thoughts, reassuring Yachi that they aren't mad at her for totally missing the chance of talking to their once-lost-but-now-returning-friend.

Tsukishima Kei however, was quiet throughout the episode; his mind in haywire and his heart a thumping mess.

_Someone saw Yamaguchi.. Yachi.._ She also saw _his_ dear Tadashi.. with Taiyou apparently. _They must have gone on a date_. He winched at the tiny ache on his chest.

"But don't worry!" Yachi's sudden cheerful voice made him look at her. "We'll see him again, I promise." She must have seen the look on Tsukishima's face because she smiled at him warmly he almost believed her words.

The key word being al_most_.

"Yeah sure. That's only happening if something as twisted as fate make you bump into him again." He snapped venomously before he even had the chance to stop himself. He felt a little bit guilty but tried to swallow an apology because he hated feeling helpless. It's like the whole universe conspires to make fun of him and his feelings, giving him false hopes only to crush his heart till it turn into sorry mass of powder.

Tanaka and Noya chastised him for being an asshole to Yachi who only gave him a knowing look.

"Well, in that case then Fate must be on our side this time."

His breath suddenly get rugged.

"That guy who's with Yamaguchi-kun that night.. I know him."

"..who?" His voice a hoarse whisper.

"He's Hasegawa Taiyou."

And in that moment, Tsukishima Kei was a total goner.

**TBC.**

***.*.***

**Akaichi:** I swear this was literally unexpected, totally unplanned. But after reading TheAwesomeCocoPuff's review, few dozen fanfics and BL novels and a surprise visit from a naughty plot bunny.. it just spiraled out of control. *facepalm*

I want and will try to make this one short like my KuroKenma fic 'Kiss' though, maybe 3-5 chapters who knows.

Anyways, thanks for reading :) Please leave a comment if you have time. Stay awesome!


	3. We Want To But We Can't

_What could you see? What could you find? If we meet please a very your eyes. What I'll never show, what you'll never find is explosive.. __so hide your eyes._

_- _The Love letter by Blaqk Audio

*.*.*

_Hasegawa Taiyou._

_Second son of Hasegawa Ichirou, the president of Hasegawa Group of Companies and he also had several foundations himself._

_He speaks money, was born and lived in Japan for twenty years before he migrated to Europe._

_He's intelligent, a fine gentleman with a hobby of exploring the world and though his name is literally carved in gold, he has a happy attitude and a humble aura in him._

Tsukishima Kei huffed in his seat, glaring at his computer screen. He's in his office doing research about this Taiyou guy.

Which, apparently, is a saint.

And it's making Kei more aggravated.

When Yachi told him about Hasegawa Taiyou's identity, he didn't expect this man to be this — Kei gritted his teeth — perfect.

Sure, he was impressed. But how on earth did Yamaguchi met this guy?

He googled some images of Hasegawa Taiyou and hundred different photos with the same face greeted him. Most of them was taken from fund raising events.

He was about to close the tab when one photo caught his vision. He clicked it and seconds later, two smiling faces appeared on his screen.

_CEO, Mr. Hasegawa Taiyou and his friend, Yamaguchi Tadashi._

Says the caption.

It was a photo from an article of a foundation supporting animal welfare.

And the date states it was from 5 years ago.

Kei stared at it, leaning his back into his seat. His eyebrows furrowed in contemplation.

_Yamaguchi was in Europe with Taiyou all this time?_

_*.*.*_

Weeks after meeting Tsukishima, Yamaguchi Tadashi is now doing perfectly fine. He moved on, like that night is just a mundane thing that will soon be a passing memory in his head, gone and forgotten.

He totally forgot about it.

Or so he tries to convince himself.

Because everytime he closes his eyes, bespectacled pair of golden eyes always stares back at him.

The warmth of Tsukishima's hug seemed to seep through every pore of his skin, the ghost of it haunting him.

And his voice.. _Oh his voice.._ the sound of it a beautiful harmony in Yamaguchi's ears.

That time, Tsukishima sounded so _warm, _happy and surprised but the slight whisper of fear was there, like _he's scared of scaring Yamaguchi, _scared of him to walk away again.

And he said he _loved _him.

God, he uttered the _words,_ and it was directed at _Yamaguchi._

He wanted to cry but tried his best to swallow it down.

Because he _can't._

Tsukishima _can't _love Yamaguchi.

Their's is like a twisted serious case of right love gone oh so wrong.

He heaved a heavy breath and leaned on the counter. He shouldn't have agreed on coming back to this place.

Now the consequences of everything he had done is coming right back at him to slap him in the face.

He swallowed a gasp when pair of arms slid around his waist and pulled him against a hard chest. He relaxed though, then threw his head back and rest it on the shoulder in his back and chuckled when the taller man nuzzled the side of his neck.

"Morning, babe."

Yamaguchi looked at his side and smiled at him, "Morning."

"Mm.. I see you're busy."

"I made you breakfast."

Taiyou's hold of him tightened, practically squeezing him fondly and swayed them side by side. "As sweet as ever, My Little Tadashi."

He turned around and wound his arms around Taiyou's neck. He beamed, "I live to pamper you."

Hands still wrapped around his waist, Taiyou kissed his forehead "And I live to love.." then his lips "and make you happy."

"I know. And I thank you for that."

He buried his face on Taiyou's chest, the man's steady heartbeat a soft lullaby for Yamaguchi's soul. It calmed his nerves like it always did for years and Yamaguchi's grateful for it.

Eight years ago, Tsukishima had been his moon — the only light he had amidst the darkness that filled his life.

But like Tsukishima, Taiyou _saved _him too.

He was his sun — the one who peeked through dark clouds and brought rays of light and warmth to his life.

Taiyou reached to hold both his wrists, spun him around and put both his hands on top of Yamaguchi's shoulder. "As much as I want to cuddle with you all day Little Tadashi, I don't want to waste your effort."

He led him to the table where sunny side up eggs, hotdogs and garlic fried rice which Yamaguchi diligently cooked with plates and utensils neatly placed atop. Taiyou pulled a chair for him and then sat across him.

"Let's eat." He beamed before wolfing down the foods Yamaguchi prepared, the sight of it making the freckled man's heart swell in delight.

In that moment, Yamaguchi realized one crucial thing.

Tsukishima may be his _everything, _but he's also his _past._

And Taiyou is his _present._

All that he's needed to do now is to focus on that.

A future with Taiyou.

*.*.*

"Are you going to visit your father again?"

Taiyou looked back at him in the mirror while he's doing his neck tie, Yamaguchi sitting on the edge of their bed. "Yes. Father and nii-san wants to introduce me to some investors on a lunch meeting." He spun around and leaned back on the dresser, hands on both sides "Do you wanna go?"

Yamaguchi flopped on his back and spread his arms beside him "Nah.. You know business isn't my thing."

The bed creaked softly from an additional weight when Taiyou crawled on top of him, smiling.

"I know." He reached out to gently brush Yamaguchi's hair away from his face with his fingers. "They're going to talk about boring business stuffs and I don't want you to suffer there with me." He grinned owning a chuckle from Yamaguchi.

"You're gonna ruin your suit."

Taiyou edged back and settled on Yamaguchi's thighs, his knees on either sides "'Tis okay. I actually don't want to be there to be honest."

Yamaguchi pushed up, leaning on his elbows. He bent his head on the side cutely. "Hmm.. Maybe I can go with you today? We can get bored together."

Taiyou smiled at him, his eyes twinkling. "Or you go with me, wait for me at the café and then we can go anywhere you want." He bowed down to kiss his lips.

"I.. kinda want to visit mom today.."

Taiyou's eyes gleamed understanding, "No problem."

He got off from him and reached out his hand to Yamaguchi "Let's go?"

*.*.*

Yamaguchi savored the coolness of the cup of Strawberry Milkshake between his palms. The warmth of the afternoon sun that seeped through the leaves of the tree he was underneath is a good contrast to it.

He sighed quietly and leaned back on the bench he was sitting. He looked up in the sky. The clouds are high and the mixtures of white and blue is calming his nerves.

He likes quiet moments like this; though part of him wants to share it with Taiyou.

But the man is on a lunch meeting at the moment. Taiyou insisted that Yamaguchi wait in the café at the lobby or in a hotel or in his father or brother's office for him to be comfortable but Yamaguchi refused.

He doesn't want to impose.

He's in good terms with Taiyou's family - they did had a hard time accepting Yamaguchi, yes, but Taiyou didn't give up on him until they accept him into their family - but this place is definitely not his territory.

Yamaguchi is still Yamaguchi no matter what. He's still that simple guy and all those elegant furnitures and people in suits are making him nervous and suffocated.

So he chose to be alone in the mini garden at the back of the building. He entertained himself by looking at the landscape around him, butterflies and birds flying and singing ancient tunes and the soft puff of afternoon wind lulling him.

A sizeable canteen for the employees stood before him. He busied himself by observing people.

They look so busy, like every second of their lives is counted and cannot be wasted.

He feels out of place.

But his life is in Europe.

Surely, he doesn't have lots of friends there (he didn't really need lots, just few people that are true to him and Taiyou), but his work is there.

And he love his life there.

Quiet, happy, and away from his haunting past.

Taiyou gave him another life.

His quiet thoughts were disturbed by a sudden yelp. He looked around and saw a petite blonde woman on her knees at the paved back entrance of the building with tumbled boxes and papers around her.

Seconds later Yamaguchi is on his heels, running to help the woman.

"Are you okay, miss?"

The woman is still kneeling on the floor reaching around for her stuff. "I'm fine. Oh my god I'm sorry."

He collected the papers and magazines and put them inside the box. When he's sure enough that he's put them all, he stood up hugging the box with him and turned around to the woman who's also finished putting her stuff in the box.

"Uhm.. Do you need help? Where are you headed? I can help you carry these. They're too big for one person."

The woman stood up with her box, and looked at Yamaguchi. When their eyes met, Yamaguchi gasped and golden eyes looked back at him wide eyed.

"Y-y-yamaguchi-kun!?"

Yamaguchi dropped the box.

*.*.*

Akaichi: omfg. I swear this fic is so stubborn. This didn't end up as what I planned HAHAHA Orz

Anywaaays ~ who can guess what happened to Baby Yams? Can yaa ~ Can yaa? /pokes your cheeks/

~ THANKSFORREADING! ~


	4. Old Friend

**Unedited. Will proofread soon.**

*.*.*

Yachi can't take her eyes off Yamaguchi.

She wasn't even blinking.

She was afraid the moment she closes her eyes even for a mere second, Yamaguchi will vanish again, disappearing into thin air, nowhere to be found.

She can't believe this is happening right now.

She wasn't expecting to meet Yamaguchi at her workplace. Sure, she knows that he's somehow connected to his bosses now because of his boyfriend, Mr. Hasegawa but the chances of them meeting again was so low she was left perturbed on her seat.

Besides, what she was expecting is for Tsukishima to make his moves after she told him everything she knew about Hasegawa Taiyou.

Not this.

This feels like the Fates are toying with them, playing with their destinies and crisscrossing their paths together.

But of course, deep down inside Yachi, she was glad to see Yamaguchi again. Eight years had been long enough for her to miss the once young boy he called her friend.

"How are you Yamaguchi-kun?"

She saw him fiddle on his seat awkwardly. After he helped her carry her boxes to her office booth, she pushed her luck and invited the man to lunch.

Now they're on the gazebo sharing Yachi's bento.

"I'm- I'm good. I'm fine." He smiled nervously. "How about you Yachi?"

She picked a cherry tomato, "Life's tough but I'm great!" She pouted as she munched the little tomato. "Piles of paperworks here, overdue designs there and couple of overtimes yes.. however, I'm happy with what I'm doing so it's fine!"

"I thought you want to be a fashion designer just like your mom. Then why are you in an advertising company?"

On his face is a genuine expression of confusion she beamed at him, "Yes! I will, someday. For now, this is fine. I just need a little more time to start my own clothing line."

Yamaguchi just nodded nibbling his rice ball. Yamaguchi kept on glancing her way nervously she's also starting to feel awkward.

This isn't good.

She was thinking of what to say when Yamaguchi raised a surprised eyebrow at him.

"You're married?"

"Hm?"

She looked at her left hand Yamaguchi was eyeing. She smiled and fondly caresses the ring on her finger, "Nope. This is just a promise ring but I treat this as a wedding ring."

"So.. Who's...?"

"I'm together with Shimizu."

Yamaguchi's eyes widened modestly. "Oh."

"Yeah.." Yachi felt her cheeks warm up.

"Wow." She saw his lips curled up in an easy smile, "I mean, wow. I kind of thought you two would be cute together but.. wow. Congratulations Yachi."

She giggled. "Thanks."

"I'm glad that you two worked it out well after all these years."

"Well yeah. It isn't just us though. Ukai-san and Takeda-sensei are partners now. They got married on a civil wedding. Daichi-san and Suga-san are planning on getting married too; they're engaged. Noya-san and Asahi-san are living together. And then Hinata and Kageyama and Tanaka-san and Ennoshita-san."

"Gee. Really? That's.. really.. something. I'm happy for every one of you."

Well Yeah..Not everyone's happy though. Tsukishima-kun's the only single now amongst us.

Yachi bit her tongue to stop herself from saying things that would surely make everything uncomfortable again. She should be careful not to step on a landmine now that Yamaguchi has already showed her small smiles.

So she just grinned back at him.

"So, what do you do now Yamaguchi-kun?"

"Hm?" He sipped the last remaining of his strawberry milkshake before answering her. "I'm a doctor now. I took up Veterinary Medicine."

Now it was Yachi's turn to stare at Yamaguchi.

"Wow. Really?!" Yamaguchi smiled sheepishly, faint blush coloring his cheeks.

"..Yeah." Yamaguchi brushed the tip of his nose with his finger. "Is.. Is it weird?"

"What? W-wha-No! Why would you think that?"

"Well.." He shrugged.

"It's not weird okay? I'm just.. I'm just a bit surprised. Didn't know you love animals."

"Animals seem more tolerable than humans. For me at least." He said, owning a giggle from Yachi.

"Now you're talking." She grinned mischievously at the freckled lad. "Yamaguchi-sensei."

Yamaguchi crumpled a random tissue on their table and threw it to Yachi's direction. "Oh shut it." He playfully snapped, grinning back at her.

"Hey!"

They both laughed and Yachi was thankful that she get to finally make Yamaguchi comfortable with her presence. Unlike earlier that he seems like a wounded animal ready to flight when he sense danger.

They finished Yachi's bento after that and sat there comfortably and talked about a lot of things. They mused over the things they did when they were still in high school and laughed at the silly things they would remember.

Yachi carefully told things that happened to them whilst Yamaguchi was gone. She was cautious not to scare Yamaguchi just in case she said something that would turn him off. Yachi virtually sighed in relief when Yamaguchi started to open up a bit to her in return albeit warily.

In the middle of their tête-à-tête, Yamaguchi's phone started them both when it rang and Yamaguchi excused himself. Few minutes later, he came back eyes shining that Yachi took advantage to tease him a little bit.

"Boyfriend called?" She nudged his sides making him yelp slightly. She chuckled.

Yamaguchi splattered and blush, "What?!"

"Oh come on. You don't have to deny it."

He averted his eyes. "Um.. Yes."

Yachi silently squealed and leaned closer to him. She knew she shouldn't be all giddy since she was rooting for Tsukishima and all, but hey, she's just a girl and a girl can fangirl even for a moment right?

"So... How long have you been.. together?"

"Uh.. Six years?"

She gaped. "Six years!?"

"..Yeah."

"Wow. That's long."

"Heh. You're one to talk. How long have you been together with Kiyoko-san huh?"

"Fine. Point taken."

Yamaguchi made a non-committal hum.

"How did you two met though?" she asked with genuine curiosity.

However, this simple question still made Yamaguchi fidget on his seat slightly Yachi almost winced. Wrong move there Yachi.

"Um.." Yamaguchi began.

"Y..you don't really have to answer that. If uh.. you know.. it makes you uncomfortable or anything. It's fine. I understand."

Yamaguchi looked down, taking a sudden interest on his fiddling thumbs. "I'm sorry."

Yachi put a reassuring hand on Yamaguchi's shoulder. "No problem buddy. Totally fine." She smiled at him when he looked up at her.

An awkward silence filled the air. Yachi wanted to smack her head on the cemented table in front of her for ruining everything.

Obviously, she walked in on a guarded territory she wasn't allowed to step in.

But she totally understand. If Yamaguchi doesn't want to speak yet, she wouldn't ask anymore. There's just some things that are not share-able.

Yet.

Few moments later, a familiar tall man with raven-hair peeked on them at the gazebo. His happy face offering them a beautiful and warm smile.

Yachi straightened up and bowed politely.

"Good afternoon Hasegawa-sama."

Even his laugh was beautiful Yachi can't stop herself from blushing.

Taiyou brushed her off, "No need to be all formal to me. I'm not your boss."

"B-but.."

"No buts." He said, stopping Yachi from her protest. He ruffled Yamaguchi's hair instead making the latter glare straight at him. He winked at Yamaguchi. "And besides, every friend Tadashi has is also my friend."Yachi was practically speechless.

"Um." Yamaguchi stood up between them, "Yachi you probably know him already. He's Taiyou. Um.."

"His boyfriend." Taiyou offered. Yamaguchi blushed. "Aww. You don't have to blush everytime I say that word you know. You cute little being." He chuckled as he playfully pinched both Yamaguchi's cheeks.

Yachi giggled.

Poor Yamaguchi blushed redder than a ripe tomato.

Yachi and Taiyou both laughed.

"I hate you both." Yamaguchi hissed. And glared at his boyfriend. "Shut up." Taiyou's laugh ceased to chuckles, his grin still present on his handsome face.

"This is Yachi." Yamaguchi continued on introducing them, "An old friend. We're on the same club back in highschool."

Taiyou shook Yachi's hand. "Nice to meet you Yachi."

"N-nice to meet you too um H-hase-"

"Taiyou's fine. Hasegawa is my dad."

Yachi was still uneasy calling the youngest son of her boss in his name so she just made a non-committal sound.

"Anyways.." Taiyou threw Yamaguchi a meaningful look.

"Oh. Right. I'm sorry Yachi but we have to go now."

"Ah! Yes! I understand."

They made their farewell. Both men were already starting to walk back when Yachi remembered something. She reached out and held Yamaguchi's wrist. He stopped and looked back at her.

"Um. Sorry. It's just um.." she shifted her weight on her left foot. "Next month. Ukai-san and Takeda-sensei's gonna celebrate their 5th wedding anniversary. Are you.. uh.. I mean.. Do you wanna.. come?"

Yamaguchi stared at her for a few seconds.

"But.. I'm not invited?"

"You are!" her voice came out a bit fast and high she herself winced, "I mean, the only reason you aren't is because they don't know how to contact you. But.. now.." She trailed off, her eyes almost begging.

Yamaguchi looked up at Taiyou beside him. Yachi wasn't sure if that look was a silent ask for permission or if he was pleading for help.

Taiyou just squeezed Yamaguchi's arm.

Her friend looked at him.

"I'll.. I'll think about it."

She sighed and nodded. It was better than a decline at least. She - ah no, scratch that. They were given a chance no matter how small, to see him again.

*.*.*

**A/N:** imsorry ;-; it's been a while and this crap is what u get? *slaps self* a lot of things happened. That's all I can say. IM NOT MYSELF ANYMORE. haha Orz. Thanks for reading :)


	5. When The Past Haunts The Present

**A GLIMPSE TO YAMAGUCHI'S PAST**

***.*.***

Yamaguchi stared at the gravestone where his mom's name was engraved.

It's been years since he last visited this place.

He missed everything that was his mom.

Her laugh, her smiles, her warmth whenever she envelopes her tiny arms around little Tadashi, her cooking, and most especially, her voice.

During those nights when Yamaguchi have a nightmare, he will find himself longing for his mom's soft sweet whisper of love and protection.

Oh how he wished she was still with him.

If she didn't die, his life probably turned out _differently_.

He looked back over his shoulders and saw Taiyou leaning on his car just a few feet away from him - the man insisted to give him privacy - and his heart started to gripe.

If his mom was still here, everything would turn out differently...

_He wouldn't meet Taiyou._

He shook his head and look again to his Mom's grave.

He made a smile and clapped his hands together and closed his eyes. He said a little prayer before he felt warm hands on his shoulder.

"You okay?"

Taiyou settled beside him, his arm on top of Yamaguchi's shoulder reassuringly. Yamaguchi was grateful for the gesture because if it wasn't for Taiyou's comforting presence, he would have broke down already.

"Yeah." Yamaguchi nodded and shrank onto Taiyou's body "It's just.. It's been awhile."

"It's been years. I'm sorry if it was because of me that you couldn't get the chance to visit your mom."

"You shouldn't be." he squeezed Taiyou's hand on his shoulder and looked at him straight in the eye. Taiyou's been nothing but good to him. He's got nothing to be sorry for. "I went to England with you in my own decision. You didn't force me. You are my home and I want to be with you so I'll follow you until the ends of the Earth."

Taiyou leaned down and kissed him, slow and sweet. He was always gentle with him, but never did he feel fragile and broken. Instead, he felt loved and cherished and Yamaguchi's heart swelled in happiness because all his life, he only has dark voids in his life and _Tsukki_.

Tsukki... his only source of light and warmth during _those_ days...

Yamaguchi closed his eyes so tight he started to see dark spots at the back of his eyes. He should not do this. It wasn't fair to think about the other guy when Taiyou was here, holding him securely.

He's been doing that a lot lately he realized. And God, did that make him feel so utterly guilty. His comeback and the inevitable meeting with Tsukki and Yachi has been bothering him since.

Which was not good in any sense. If this continues, he was gonna hurt himself, and worse, Taiyou too. And that's the last thing that Yamaguchi want to happen.

To be the cause of Taiyou's pain.

***.*.***

They were sitting there, on a bench under a big old tree just a few meters away from his Mom's grave when he saw _him._

Yamaguchi felt like a huge tub of cold ice was poured into his soul and then he went numb. He can no longer feel the soft brush of Taiyou's fingers through his hair or hear the quiet hum of the afternoon breeze due to the ringing in his ears.

He paled.

This can't be real.

This can't be happening.

But as he stared at the man in front of them, he was so sure that he wasn't mistaken.

That surely was _that_ man_._

The man he and his mom trusted.

And the man who ruined everything he had.

He wanted to run and pull Taiyou with him but goddamnit he can't move!

Taiyou doesn't seem to have noticed the man too since his eyes were closed, a contented smile pasted on his lips. In other situation, Yamaguchi would find him and this moment so beautiful. But not now. His heart was beating so hard inside his chest he wondered if he would die from heart attack.

And then the man looked at him. Those familiar, sinister eyes stared at Yamaguchi. Slowly, the man's lips curled in a dangerous smile. Yamaguchi's eyes widened in horror when he saw the man lifted his hand.

He had a gun.

Yamaguchi didn't had the time to think about anything when he heard a loud _bang! _and the splattering of gore everywhere.

On his face. On his shaking hands. On his thigh, on the ground, everywhere.

He looked at Taiyou.

Yamaguchi screamed and cry.

He couldn't believe this. He pulled Taiyou's dead body closer to him and hugged him.

_Taiyou's__ still warm! I should call an ambulance! Taiyou! Taiyou please wake up!_

But it's over. Taiyou's already dead.

_Dead._

Yamaguchi lifted his hands from Taiyou's head. It was gory. The back of Taiyou's head was missing from the impact of the bullet. Blood was pouring down from it no matter how hard he tried to cover it and all Yamaguchi could do was just cry and scream his heart out.

Then the man grabbed his hair and pulled him up, causing him to drop Taiyou's body on the ground like a rag doll.

Yamaguchi squirmed and thrashed around until he felt the man's hard fist on his stomach. He doubled over, feeling an excruciating pain in his body.

Then a sudden rush of old fears and pains hit him hard.

He suddenly felt so exhausted, dread and weariness sucking out all of his will.

He was already tired.

Physically and emotionally.

His body sagged, knees on the ground and let the man pull his hair back again so he was looking up at him.

He would never forget this face.

The face of his nightmare.

And now, the face of his death.

"Think you can escape me huh, stupid cunt?" His voice was just like how Yamaguchi remember it; cold and menacing. Yamaguchi glared at the man, trying to be stubborn. This man will kill him anyways. If not now, then maybe this man will bring him back to his hellish life that all will be left for Yamaguchi was the thought of killing himself.

At least with this, he would die fighting.

"Fuck you! I'm going to kill you and send you to hell you fucker!"

Yamaguchi tried to fight but this man was just too strong. He wanted to kill him. For ruining his life, for killing Taiyou.

_What did I do to deserve this?_

The man's wicked laugh boomed through Yamaguchi's ears, mocking him. "You what? Kill _me? _You are so funny _bitch. _What would you do? Run away and get help from those fuckers again?" The man leaned down to him, Yamaguchi could practically smell his stinking scent. "You are _nothing _but a fucking _hole_ Tadashi. A fucking _cunt. _No matter where you are, I will find you. You can't escape me." The man hissed against his ears.

"Nooooo!" Yamaguchi thrashed with all his might. He pushed the man away from him and tried to run but the bastard caught his foot causing him to fall down. The man rolled him onto his back to slap him multiple times, chanting cruel words to Yamaguchi.

"_Cunt!"_

_"Bitch!"_

_"Nooo!"_

_"Faggot!"_

_"Let me go!"_

_"..guchi!"_

_"Fuck hole!"_

"Yamaguchi!"

A hard slap on his face made Yamaguchi open his eyes and gasped. He blinked when instead of the gory scene, all he sees was a room.

_His room._

And then he felt someone hugging him, whispering words of comfort and safety.

_Taiyou._

Yamaguchi cried.

"Shush baby, it's alright. It's just a nightmare. Nothing's real. It's okay now, I got you. I got you babe."

"He killed you! Taiyou, _he _killed _you!_ He will find us! He will find_ you!_" Yamaguchi was getting hysterical.

Taiyou pulled away and caught Yamaguchi's face between his palms. His warmth was slowly calming Yamaguchi.

"I'm alive. See? That was just a bad dream. _He's _the one who's_ dead. _He wouldn't be able to find us. His remains are nothing but a lump of bones now. He couldn't harm us. Tadashi listen to me," Taiyou lifted his crying face and forced him to look directly at his eyes where big tears are pouring down from. "I wouldn't let anyone hurt you _again. _I promised to protect you, remember? Don't you trust me?"

Yamaguchi sniffed like a little child, his heart finally calming down. He wiped his tears away and wrapped his arms around Taiyou's neck and buried his face against it.

Taiyou's alive. It was just a bad dream.

"I trust you with my life Taiyou."


End file.
